When I got married, my husband was an evangelical pastor in Dallas.
He had been with a woman for years, had kids, and wanted to be a pastor in the same way his wife wanted to.
When I asked him why he wanted to become a pastor, he told me, “God told me to marry her.”
In our first year together, my wife and I had four children together.
She was a talented pianist, a fine cook, a great mom, and a wonderful wife.
I was a teacher.
Our marriage had its ups and downs.
I remember when she went back to school and started dating the pastor of our church.
I cried, thinking, Oh, my God.
She had just started working on a PhD in theology.
She did a good job, I thought, and the church was going to like me.
Then she got pregnant and gave birth to a child with the pastor.
He was a hard-core Christian, and he was angry at my wife for leaving him.
He began to see her as an adultee, and I was just in disbelief.
When she got out of the church, he began seeing me as an outsider.
I had a hard time believing that someone with such a strong belief system could have been caught cheating on me.
I think he was trying to make it look like I was not in the marriage and was not faithful to him.
I thought that maybe I was the one who was cheating, because he didn’t think I was faithful to God.
After the baby was born, my pastor and I went back together to our house.
When we got back together, he was still upset.
He said, “Well, my good man, you’ve got a little girl.
I told him, “You’re right, my baby is beautiful.
Then he said, ‘You can’t be faithful to the Lord.’
I was in shock, because I had never been married to a man who would treat me this way.
When my wife went back into the church a few years later, she said, My husband never treated me this badly.
He didn’t say anything, and we talked for hours.
When the pastor came in, he said to me, ‘Christ, we need to get you out of here.’
I told my husband, ‘Don’t do this.
I’m the wife of a pastor.
You have the right to believe whatever you want.
The Bible says, ‘If anyone divorces his wife, let him ask God.’
If my husband divorced her and I remarried, I could not divorce him.
My husband has never treated us this badly, and this is the only time he has ever done that.
My wife and my children are still happy in their marriage.
I can see my kids growing up with my wife.
When he told my wife about his divorce, she cried.
She said, What is happening?
I told her, ‘I’m sorry, but you know the Bible says you can divorce your husband.
The Lord doesn’t divorce people.’
The pastor didn’t understand what I was saying.
I said, You’re right.
You’re a pastor now.
You can’t divorce someone who believes in the Bible.
I never got the pastor’s forgiveness.
We are still together.
I hope he’s happy with me.